Two weeks ago, we started a new message series here at CCC called “Collide: Prepare for Impact.” In that first message, we acknowledged something few of us have ever put into words, even though we have been living it our whole lives. The truth that there is an inevitable collision between Christianity and the culture we live in.

That is not a maybe, not merely a possibility, not something that happens only to somebody else, somewhere else, in some extreme situation you and I will never face. This collision happens to ordinary people in ordinary places, in the middle of an ordinary week. It happens at work when you have to decide whether to speak up or stay quiet. It happens at school when your children come home with questions the culture has already answered for them. It happens at the dinner table, in conversations with people you love, when what you believe runs contrary to what everyone around you has already decided is true.

It is in that environment that marriage collides with culture's latest definition of it. Truth collides with what feels true. Tolerance collides with conviction. Generosity collides with self-preservation. And forgiveness collides with what we think people deserve.

And most weeks, if we are honest, we end up somewhere in the middle. Bracing ourselves. Preparing for impact, whether we realize it or not. And some of us feel that tension every single day and don’t even have language for what is happening inside of us. Others of us have gotten so used to absorbing the impact that we have stopped noticing it at all.

However, the truth is, that Jesus told us this was coming. He said,

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword" (Matthew 10:34).

And he was not describing a war that we start. He was describing a collision we cannot avoid, because his kingdom and this world’s kingdom are simply not built on the same foundation. It is no wonder the Scripture says that anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God (James 4:4).

And so, Jesus never intended for his words to sit comfortably next to the values of this world. From the moment he opened his mouth on that Galilean hillside, in verse three, he was drawing a line. On one side stood the kingdom of heaven, with its own righteousness, its own standard, its own King. And on the other side stood everything the world has built its life around. And Jesus made it clear from the very beginning that he had not come to soften that line. In Matthew chapter five, verse seventeen, he said,

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them" (Matthew 5:17).

That single sentence should stop us in our tracks because Jesus is not offering a suggestion; he is stating that he fulfills everything God has spoken since the beginning. And he goes on to say something that ought to shake any casual approach to faith or nominal form of Christianity.

"For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:20).

Now, the Pharisees were the best of the best, the smartest kids in class; they tithed, they fasted, memorized Scripture, kept all the rules, and Jesus says that is not enough. You have got to do better, but the righteousness he is talking about is not one we manufacture on our own. It is a righteousness that comes from above, from a heart that has been born again, made new by the Holy Spirit. And so, this is not about trying harder; it is about a supernatural transformation.

Once Jesus has established that standard, he begins to walk through subject after subject where His Word collides head-on with the way the world thinks. Culture tells us truth is relative, but Jesus says he is the truth. Culture tells us tolerance means agreeing with everything, but Jesus says love sometimes means telling people what they don’t want to hear. Culture tells us generosity is optional, but Jesus says give until it costs you something. Culture tells us forgiveness is weakness, but Jesus says forgiveness is the very heartbeat of the gospel.

Today, we’re going to move quickly through those first several points of collision before we slow down and camp out on one subject in particular: marriage. Because nowhere does the collision between God’s design and the culture's message get more personal, more painful, or more practical than right here in our own homes, between a husband and a wife.

But let me assure you, if you’re not married yet, or if you are no longer married, this applies to every relationship, and every person listening.

Jesus begins in verse twenty-one with something that seems, at first glance, to have nothing to do with marriage.

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment" (Matthew 5:21-22).

You see, here is what we do: just like Pharisees, we reduce righteousness to a checklist. Don’t murder anyone and you’re fine. But watch what Jesus does: he goes straight to the heart. He says the anger that lives inside of you, the anger you never acted on physically, that anger is already a violation of God’s design. And he is not just talking about strangers; he is talking about brothers, about the people closest to us.

If you have been married for longer than a week, you know exactly what this looks like. It is not usually the stranger on the street who gets under your skin. It is the person who knows you best, who knows exactly which words will wound you the deepest. And so, Jesus is saying that the angry word, that sarcastic jab, the silent treatment loaded with resentment, none of that is neutral. It is spiritually significant, and it matters to God.

You see, God did not save you and fill you with the Holy Spirit so that you could win arguments with your spouse. He filled you so that you could bear the fruit of righteousness, and the first fruit Paul lists in Galatians chapter five is love. And so, a Spirit-filled marriage is not a marriage without conflict; it is a marriage where conflict doesn’t have the final word, because the Holy Spirit is producing something better in us than our flesh ever could.

Jesus continues in verse 23, moving from the anger in our hearts to what we do about it. He says,

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24).

In the same way, unresolved offense in your marriage is not just a relationship problem. It is a worship problem. It stands between you and God, not just between you and your spouse. Or between you and your parents.

The Holy Spirit says something that every married couple needs to hear.

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers" (1 Peter 3:7).

How you treat your wife directly affects whether heaven is listening to you. Some of us wonder why our prayer life feels dry, yet we have never considered the condition of our marriage.

So what does Jesus call us to do? He says, be reconciled now. Not putting it off, not avoiding it, not stuffing it down, not keeping score, but going to your spouse, admitting where you were wrong, extending grace when they were wrong, and choosing reconciliation over being right.

Jesus continues in verse 25, telling us to settle matters quickly. And here he uses a legal picture that speaks directly to where we are as a culture today.

"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny" (Matthew 5:25-26).

Today, we live in a culture that has made walking away from a marriage almost effortless. No-contest divorce means two people can end a covenant relationship without ever having to explain to a judge or to each other why it is ending. Jesus, speaking centuries before any of that existed, gives us wisdom for our moment: settle it quickly. Don’t let the distance between you and your spouse grow so wide that reconciliation feels impossible.

I know that living out our faith in any relationship is not easy. It requires forgiving one another, sometimes repeatedly, and often for the same thing. It requires doing everything within our power, with the Holy Spirit's strength, to keep the peace. Paul tells us in Romans, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. If that is true of everyone, how much more should it be true of the person you promised your life to?

Now, I am not saying that every marriage can or should be saved. Scripture does address situations of unfaithfulness and abandonment by unbelievers. But most marriages that end did not have too and. They ended because two people stopped fighting for the relationship and started fighting each other instead. The gospel calls us to be ministers of reconciliation because that is exactly what Christ has been to us.

In verse 27, Jesus brings us to the subject that fuels so much of the pain we see in marriages today. He said,

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

The Pharisees thought highly of themselves and felt pretty good about themselves, knowing they had never physically committed adultery. But Jesus says that the lustful look, the lingering gaze, the thought, or the private indulgence is already a violation in the eyes of God, who knows all things.

Our culture collides with that, telling us that what happens in private, behind closed doors, on a screen no one else sees, does not really matter as long as no one gets hurt. Pornography has been marketed to us as a private, victimless choice, but Jesus says otherwise. What you do in private does not stay private.

"What you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs" (Luke 12:3).

Pornography and adultery shape what you desire; they shape how you see your spouse, and eventually they show up in your marriage as emotional distance, disappointment, or outright betrayal.

Adultery rarely begins with the act itself. It begins with a look that was allowed to linger and a thought that was never taken captive. Jesus confronts the seriousness of this with strong language. He calls for a radical, Spirit-empowered amputation. He says that if something in your life is consistently leading you toward unfaithfulness to your spouse or your future spouse, cut it off because whatever the cost, it is worth it.

Jesus continues in verse 31 to speak to the consequences of divorce.

"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery" (Matthew 5:31-32).

Now, I know that many of us in this room carry the weight of divorce in some form, whether it is our own, a spouse’s, or our parents’. And so, I say this not to add shame, because there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1), but to be honest about the weight of what Jesus describes. Divorce, like marriage, is never simply a legal transaction. It has a ripple effect, moving outward and affecting children and grandchildren for generations.

Jesus takes it seriously because God takes the marriage covenant seriously, as with any covenant. He is calling his church to fight for the marriages we are still in and the commitments we have made, with the strength he provides. Again, Jesus says in verse 33,

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' But I tell you, do not swear at all... Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one" (Matthew 5:33-37).

Jesus is describing a people whose word is so trustworthy that they don’t need to swear an oath to back it up. They don’t need to say, “I swear, I’m not lying,” because their yes means yes. There is no fine print, no exit clause. When you stood at the altar and said, “I do,” you were not agreeing to stay as long as it felt good. You were making a covenant before God, who said,

"I hate divorce... So, guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith" (Malachi 2:16).

God hates divorce not because he hates the people who divorce, but because he knows the wreckage it leaves behind.

You see, God designed marriage to be a living picture of his faithfulness to us, a picture of Christ and the Church. He calls us to guard our spirits and remain faithful to the one we have loved. That faithfulness is always possible because it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, who gives us the power to keep commitments our flesh alone could never keep.

Jesus brings this whole section to a close with words about revenge and enemies, which, honestly, is what happens in the aftermath of adultery, unfaithfulness, and shattered marriages. He says in verse 38,

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matthew 5:38-39).

And then in verse forty-three, He goes even further.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:43-44).

I want to bring this directly into our homes because your spouse is not your enemy. She is not someone to defeat or keep score against. Your spouse is your partner and teammate, and together you lead your family and represent Christ to a watching world.

However, this has been a struggle since the very beginning because when sin entered the world in Genesis chapter three, one direct consequence was a fracture in the relationship between husband and wife. God addressed this when he said to the woman,

"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you" (Genesis 3:16).

In other words, what began as a partnership of mutual love and respect became tainted by a struggle for control. That fracture spread quickly, and in the very next chapter, Cain rises up against his brother Abel, and the first murder in human history takes place within a family. The curse of sin has always attacked our closest relationships first, which is why the enemy always targets marriages.

You see, if he can convince a husband and wife to see each other as enemies rather than partners, he can dismantle families, and dismantled families weaken the church and the generations that follow. But Jesus calls us to love, even when it is hard, to pray for the very person who has hurt us the most, and often in marriage, that is the person we share a bed with. That means we must fight for our marriage instead of fighting against our spouse, remembering that the real battle is never against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces that want to see our home destroyed.

In conclusion, Jesus has walked us through anger, offense, reconciliation, unfaithfulness, divorce, our commitments, and how we treat the people closest to us. Culture says, “walk away when it gets hard,” but Jesus says to reconcile. Culture says what happens in private doesn’t matter, but Jesus says, “the heart matters most of all.” Culture says, “your spouse might become your enemy,” but Jesus says, even then,

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:6-7).

Of course, none of this is possible by sheer willpower. This is a call to walk in step with the Holy Spirit, who alone can produce this kind of fruit and righteousness in us. It is the same Spirit who filled the believers at Pentecost, and that Spirit is to fill your marriage with a supernatural capacity to forgive, to reconcile, and to love as Jesus described on that Galilean hillside.

I want to encourage you: if your marriage is strong today, do not grow complacent. Stay close to your spouse, draw near to your spouse, and keep inviting the Holy Spirit into every conversation, yes, even every disagreement.

If your marriage is struggling, it’s not too late. The same God who reconciled us to himself through the cross is in the business of reconciliation. He can restore what feels broken beyond repair. And if your marriage has already ended, there is grace for you here, and no condemnation in Christ Jesus. God is the author and perfecter of our faith, and he is not finished writing your story.

As we come to a close, I invite the Holy Spirit to take this word like seeds and plant them deep within our souls. As the worship team comes, I want to offer you a few specific ways to respond to what God has spoken today.

If you are married or in a relationship and the Holy Spirit has brought to mind an offense or unresolved anger between you and your brother or sister, don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. Before you go to sleep tonight, begin the work of reconciliation.

If you have been struggling with lust or pornography, I want to encourage you to confess it and repent right now. I’m not going to ask you to raise your hand or come to the altar, but I want you to pray and get serious with God right now. There is no shame here. Christ died to set you free, and this church is a place of grace, not condemnation.

If your marriage feels like it is hanging by a thread, if you have walked through the pain of divorce, and you have never fully released that grief and shame to the Lord, let him meet you here. Come to the altar. Let me and the prayer team stand with you and believe with you for God’s will to be done.

Graphics, notes, and commentary from LifeChurch, Ministry Pass, PC Study Bible, Preaching Library, and Sermon Central. Scripture from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.